Monday, October 5, 2009
 I'm speechless, each word of yours left me fall into silents. No more tears to let it out. Like i said i just leave it to fate. I'm prepare for the worst, and am going strong. I seek some advice from ___ and i did force myself to make the first move. Trying to hold grip of myself, waiting for your answer. & yar,..umm. I'm ok, i'm used to all of kinds of reasons already. Umm, nehh..i'm not crying. Heh! Cha try to keep it from ppl, but kakak caught me. Yeah, she's right. Who doesn't feel sad,hurt and stuffs right ? All girls does. & yeah, i can't run from tt. Even how hard i'm trying to get away from tears, still there will be a drop or two. *holding-grip*. I have nothing to say, but i just feel soso hurt. Like my heart have been slash by soo many times & deep down it really hurts. Thought that it will be the last time i got hurt and when i've meet u, u can cure me all those scars with your care and love. Ending up ? its the same like what i've been thru all this years. Sigh. I kept asking myself why im soo stupid and kept giving in to people whereas its obvious that, that someone doesn't seems really care ? ending up getting soo much of lectures from bestf and Gfs. I don't know why, but it seems that its my personality that gave people alot of chances eventhough i got hurt by soo many times. Dumb girl am i ? Sometimes i kept asking myself, why am i being soo kind-hearted and soft-hearted to ppl ? Giving in to ppl but me myself got hurt. Kakak ckp Cha tegas dgn org salah time. When it comes to a critical part, that obviously that person seem doesn't really cared, Cha tk tegas. Because y ? i gave in too much to that person. Because y ? Because i'm afraid to lose that person ? Because y ? Because Cha really gave 100% care & love to that person. Cha sanggup sacrifice all out to tt person. Because y ? Because that person is soso special to Cha more than her own life. At last ape jadi Cha ? Cha open up your eyes ! Gfs : "Cha,aku rase kau mcm diperbodoh-bodohkan seh?" Although its like tons of times my gfs have been saying it, but still i kept on scrificing. Because y ? For the sake of my realtionship, cause i know. I can trust that person well and that person will not be fooling arnd. I kept ignoring their words, because y ? Cos' i love that person damn much ! and i know i trust him. He wouldn't be fooling around. End up ape Cha ? Cha bukak mate Cha ! Loads of times, tons of words coming out from thier mouth but still i kept ignoring. Because y ? Cos' Cha took it as a challenge and prove it to them tt, that person that Cha sayang teramat can took care of Cha. End up Cha ? Sigh, i am Mad, not mad with my gfs or whom. I'm just mad twrds myself. Nape cha bodoh sgt ? nape cha terlalu give in ? *crying* D, nape u mcm ni ? Why must out of the sudden u gave me this reason ? If in the first place u cume nk focus on ____ & ____ u wouldn't be into relationship am i right ? Are u hiding things from me ? If yes, can u pls tell me ? i tkkn marah, i lagi marah kalo u bohong ngn i. You do know tt right ? Its such a waste. U don't see me crying that is why for you its just a fake. I ignore what people said about my relationship cause i wanna prove them wrong. I know that u can make me happy. U can cure my feelings whenever i'm down. But it turns out the other way ? I kept on giving in cause i don't really want to lose another special person in my life. I don't want our relationship to end down the drain. But it seems that u don't really care. U took it as a plain boring joke. What happened to u ? What makes u changed terribly this lately. I know and STILL remember, no one can ever change you. Enough what ur ex did to u. Suits u well, me myself can't even changed u. I just want you to know that this feelings have not yet fade away. & if u plead me to wash it away, i'll respect ur decision. & hopefully it will gone for once. Terima Kaseh Cinta for being another half of me all this while and made me feel complete whenever i'm with u. I will missed those snuffles. )': I'm terribly sick right now. Was showering and kept vomiting. Went for Raya and this are the pictures Sorry if my post is too long. I'm just letting out all. )': i don't know if D is reading this cause i've already changed my link. *crying* How i wish he could read this. |
|